


I love you...Goodbye

by BriellaBleu



Category: The Flash (TV 2014)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Implied/Referenced Character Death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-28
Updated: 2016-12-28
Packaged: 2018-09-12 20:50:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,766
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9090229
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BriellaBleu/pseuds/BriellaBleu
Summary: When Barry makes a decision to sacrifice himself to save the World, he realizes he can't do it without saying goodbye to one person first.





	

“This isn’t up for debate…it’s not even a close call.“ Barry says firmly as he takes in the group standing before him, “turn myself over to the Dominators and the leave the rest of the world alone. It’s simple.”

“No, it’s not simple.” Felicity snaps.

“Barry, it doesn’t matter what you’ve done,” Diggle adds calmly, “you can’t do this.”

Barry smiled slightly before saying, “It’s been an honor to know all of you, to fight along side you. Now it’s up to you to keep our world safe.”

He nodded his head slightly in deference to the band of superhero misfits he helped to gather in a bid to save the world. He gave one last small salute before turning on his heel and marching resolutely towards the doors of the hangar. His steps only faltered slightly when he heard Oliver yell out, “I’m not going to let you do this Barry!”. He appreciated the sentiment but he had to do what he had to do. He couldn’t stand any more blood on his hands, he already had enough to last him a lifetime.

Once he stepped outside the doors he thought that fresh air would be a relief from the stuffiness of the hangar but instead it felt as an elephant suddenly sat on his chest. His confident stride slowed and the full gravity of what he was about to do hit him like a sledgehammer. Best case scenario he was turning himself over to aliens that would keep him captive millions of miles away from everyone and everything he loved. Worst case scenario they would kill him. No, torture him relentlessly and then kill him. Either way he was screwed and life as he knew it was over, but as terrifying as that was he knew it was the right thing to do. He was saving the world…he was saving her.

The pressure on Barry’s chest turned into a sharp pain as the thought of his girlfriend came to his mind. She was never far from his thoughts but he had purposely kept those thoughts of her to a minimum the last few days so he could focus on the task at hand. But now that he was here in this moment his brain was flooded with thoughts of her. Only her. How could he leave her now? He waited almost his entire life to be with her and now that he finally has her he’s going to lose her? Was the universe really that cruel?

Barry’s heart pounded loudly in his ears as he frantically started patting himself down in search of a cellphone that logically he knew wasn’t anywhere on his Flash-suited frame. As it turns out though, panic and logic didn’t work well together.

All of a sudden Barry heard soft thuds of quickly approaching footsteps about a half a second before he heard Cisco’s pleading voice saying, “Come on man, you don’t have to do this. Things CANNOT go down this way!”

Barry opened his mouth to reassure Cisco that he would be fine but he found that it was impossible to get words past the large lump in his throat. He gave his friend what he hoped looked more like a confident smile instead of a pained grimace but he was sure he failed miserably. He couldn’t find it in himself to care too much though because time was running out and he needed to find a damn phone. He continued to absent-mindedly (and stupidly) pat himself for a phone as if it were going to miraculously going to appear out of nowhere if he did it enough. Luckily for him Cisco could read him like book but between his useless patting and the crazed, frantic look in his eyes it didn’t take a rocket scientist to figure out what Barry wanted.

Cisco gave him a sympathetic look before sliding his hand in his back jean pocket and pulling out a sleek black phone. He held it out to Barry before asking, “Iris?”

Barry nodded and fought the urge to hastily snatch the phone from Cisco’s grasp. Instead he gently grabbed it while he managed to choke out a froggy, “thank you.”

Cisco inclined his head in recognition before he started to back up. “I’ll give you some privacy, but I meant what I said. You don’t have to do this, we will find another way.”

Barry said nothing and he waited until Cisco was back in the hangar before dialing one of the few numbers he knew by heart. He cleared his throat and tried to calm his breath as he waited while the phone rang. Finally after what seemed like a million years he heard her cool, throaty, sensual but sweet voice that was uniquely her on the other end.

“Hello? Hello? Cisco? Hey…Cisco, is this you? Is everything okay? Where is Barry?” “I’m…I’m here.” He croaked out before clearing his is throat and trying again, “I’m here. It’s me, Barry.”

“Hey honey! How are you? I’ve been calling you like crazy, I was about to go out of my mind. Is everything okay? How is everybody? Is this mess almost over…is that why you called me? CCPN is INSANE right now with so many reports coming in and I can barely think straight! I know I’m rambling but thank God for caffeine, I’m on like my fifth cup of coffee today! I’m going to regret this later but it’s the only thing keeping me going. I’m so ready for this to be over so I can breathe…and see you. I miss you, and there are no words for how much I want to kiss you right now.”

Tears welled in Barry’s eyes and he had to pull the phone away from his ear for a second. He blew out a breath in a vain attempt to regain his composure.  
“I miss you too…so, so much. And don’t worry this will all be over soon.” He promised gruffly.

“Can I quote you on that Flash?” Iris teased, “I’m going to need quotes for the kick ass article I’m going to write about all this.”

Iris mention of an article made him think of that article from the future that is no longer penned by Iris West-Allen. So, this is the reason Iris West-Allen doesn’t exist in the future? Because he sacrificed his life to save the world? His next actions were going to irrevocably change the course of Iris’ future and she was completely oblivious and he hated himself for it.

“Yeah, you can quote me.” He answered tightly as he rubbed his hand across the back of his neck. “But before you do that there’s something we need to talk about.”

“Ok…what’s up, babe?”

“You know I love you, right? More than anything. You are everything and you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to me. I don’t deserve you, but I think God for you every single day anyway. ”

“Why are you talking like this?”, Iris asked quietly after a brief pause, “where is this coming from?”

“I…um…there is just something I need to do and I couldn’t do it without talking to you first.”

“What is it? I mean…is it something dangerous? Could you get hurt? Barry, please…what’s going on?”

Barry opened his mouth to explain but the words wouldn’t come out.

“Barry!” Iris said sharply once it became obvious that Barry wasn’t going to answer her, “what is going on?”

“We found out…we know now why the Dominators are here. They’re here for me…only me.”

“What? Here for you…is that supposed to be a joke Barry? Because it’s not funny.”

“I’m not joking Iris, God I wish I was, but I’m not. When I created Flashpoint I broke some type of treaty between us and the Doimnators. They’re threatening to drop a bomb on us if I don’t sacrifice myself.”

“If you don’t saca–where are you at??” Iris asked in an angry and panicked voice. He heard her desk drawers slamming and he knew she was locating her purse and keys.

“Iris…”

“Tell me where you are at right now Barry Allen!”

“No.”

“NO!?!?”

“No.”

Barry forced himself to be calm because he knew Iris was about one more piece of bad news away from having a full blown meltdown. 

“Iris, baby, you gotta listen to me. I have to do this–”

“No, you don’t!” She answered stubbornly and he could tell from the thickness in her voice that she was crying, “what in the hell was the point of bringing Kara here or hooking up with Team Arrow and the Legends if you were just going to sacrifice yourself?”

“This isn’t what I want, this is what they require. I don’t have a choice. I cause this mess and I have to fix it.“

“I refuse to believe that Barry,” Iris choked out, “there is ALWAYS another choice. Giving up is not a choice.”

“I’m not giving up. I’ve made peace with my fate and I’ll do what I have do to keep you and this world safe. ”

“Where are you at? Why won’t you tell me that?”

“Because I know if I see your face I won’t be able to leave, and I have to go Iris.”

“NO! Please…okay…wait, maybe we can come up with something else…maybe we can…I don’t know…just please wait, okay? Don’t leave, please? We’ll figure something out, we always do. Just don’t go. Please, please don’t go.”

Tears started to roll down Barry’s cheeks as he listened to Iris’ desperate heart-wrenching pleas. He literally felt as if someone was ripping his heart out of his chest. It was so painful he couldn’t breathe. He had to get off that phone otherwise he would forget the millions of reason he needed to go and instead think of only the one reason he so desperately wanted to stay.

“I love you so much Iris–”

“Don’t do this!”

“Tell Joe and Wally that I love them too. I am a better man because of them. Because of you. I couldn’t have asked for a better family. Keep up the training with Wally, Central City is going to need him. Especially with me gone.” 

“Barry…please,” Iris sobbed and Barry fought to ignore the way the sound of her cries echoed in his head.

“You are my light, Iris. You kept me from the dark every since we were kids and you always guide me home. I don’t know who I’d be without you. You saved me. Now, let me save you.”

“Barry, I need you..we all do. You can’t leave, not like this.” Iris cried, “What are we going to do without you? This city needs you! Your family needs you! You can’t just…what am I going to do without you?”

“Iris, baby, you’re going to be amazing.“ He answered confidently around the growing lump in his throat. “You’re too beautiful and talented and smart not to be. You’ll have the world at your feet.”

“I just want you.” She answered simply and Barry felt like his heart shattered in a million pieces. 

“I’ll be with you always,” he whispered, “Goodbye, Iris West….I love you.”

Barry quickly hung up the phone and he angrily swiped at the tears still trekking down his face. He tried to ignore the gnawing, achy emptiness that seemed to be spreading through him like a wildfire. 

The phone buzzed in his hand just as he heard footsteps behind him. He was glad Cisco was back so that he could return the phone–and the temptation it provided. Barry turned towards the sound of footsteps and he was slightly taken aback when he realize that the entire team was now in front of him. More specifically Kara was directly in front of him with Cisco slightly to her left while the rest of the team hung slightly back. He handed Cisco his phone back before giving a quiet but sincere thanks. Cisco smirked back but he wouldn’t make eye contact which Barry chalked up to lingering animosity. He regretted that he wouldn’t get to fix things with Cisco.

“So,“ Barry said before clearing his throat, “I guess we should really be getting this show on the road.”

“There is no show.” Oliver answered bluntly, “especially not one with you sacrificing yourself.”

“Look, Oliver,” Barry started but he was interrupted by Oliver shouting Kara’s name. Before Barry could get another word in edgewise he made eye contact with Kara and she gave him an apologetic shrug before socking him dead in the face. The blow stunned him but it didn’t knock him out. The second one, however, took care of that..at least he thought it did. He’d never know for sure because he was unconscious before he hit the ground.

***********************************************************************************************

When Barry opened his eyes the first thing he saw was an abnormally large United States flag hanging over him. The second thing that he noticed was that his head throbbed like a son of a bitch and he was almost certain that one of his eyes was swollen shut. The third thing he noticed was that it was unusually quiet in the hangar which meant he was all alone. They had left him. They knocked him out and then left him behind. 

Barry angrily fought to sit up on the narrow cot he was on but his movements were stopped by a gentle, yet firm hand on the middle of his chest forcing him to lie back. The swift jolt of electricity let him know exactly who it was before he even saw her.

“Hi, Iris,” he whispered.

“Hi Barry,” she said back, “before you ask, no they did not go fight the Dominators without you. They stepped outside to train a bit more–and give us some privacy.”

He sat up–successfully this time–before trying to make a joke, “you got Heatwave to do something? I’m impressed.”

“As it turns out hysterical women are his weakness. He would have done anything to get away from me.” She deadpanned. 

Barry averted his eyes and ran his hands over his face. He reached for her hand and he tried not to let it bother him too much when she moved away.

“I’m sor–“

"Sorry? For what? Deciding to basically end your life without even discussing it with me first? Or maybe you’re just sorry for dumping the news on me over the phone?? Do I not deserve a face to face meeting?”

“Of course you do…Iris, I just didn’t wa–”

“I would never do that to you. Never.” She said as her voice cracked, “I would have never expected you to be satisfied with a phone call.”

“I wish I had a noble reason for doing it but the truth is I knew if I saw you I wouldn’t be able to sacrifice myself. It’s selfish, but it’s the truth. I knew you would have fought me on it and I didn’t have the strength to resist you.”

“Of course I would have fought you on it!” Iris burst out angrily as tears glistened in her eyes, “Do you honestly think I was just going to let the man that I love turn himself over to some aliens that live millions of miles away? I would have fought you with everything in me.”

Barry tried to stop the smile that was spreading across his face, but he couldn’t.

“So you love me, huh? ”

“Did you hear anything else I said?”

“No, so you should probably repeat it…and start with the part where you love me.”

“You get on my nerves,” iris said quietly, but the hint of a smile at the corner of her lips took the sting out of her comment.

“But you love me,” Barry countered as his smile got impossibly wider. He stood up and grabbed her hand tugging her up from the stool she had been sitting in. He wrapped his arms around her waist and pressed his forehead against hers.

“So, you love me…”

“OMG Barry!” Iris laughed, “Yes…yes…YES, I love you. Happy now?”

“You have no idea.” He murmured before bending his head slightly and capturing her lips with his. After a few seconds he moved to deepen the kiss but he couldn’t because Iris pulled away.

“Promise you won’t do that again. We’re in this together, right? You and me?”

“I promise,” Barry answered solemnly, “you and me. Always.”

“Always.”


End file.
